It’s normal for relationships to be tested during the stress of planning a wedding. Here are a few common relationship types you may encounter as you prepare for your special day. From a railroading mother of the bride to the pleaser matron of honor, here’s how to handle these personality types.
This person’s “my way or the highway attitude” can sometimes leave you feeling tricked into making decisions you don’t agree with. This personality type may not catch subtle cues and hints that they’re acting like a bully. Let the railroader in your life know you love them and appreciate their opinions. You should calmly, but firmly verbalize your needs and directly ask them to keep their preferences to themselves. Many times, if you let the railroader know how you are feeling, they will be able to rein in their enthusiasm when it comes to decisions that are yours to make.
Often the best way to handle the blabber mouth personality is to tell them as little as possible. Don’t want the groom to know your wedding dress’ color, cut, or style? Consider asking the gossip to leave their cell phone camera off or in the car during the dress appointment. And be sure to remind them what parts of the wedding are a “surprise” and what they’re allowed to share - like not posting photos until after the wedding is over if you prefer not to be tagged in their cell phone candids. Keeping the honeymoon location a secret? Let the gossip find out your destination with the rest of the world when you post your pics to social media upon your return.
This person’s hands-off approach can leave you stranded when you are legitimately seeking helpful opinions from a friend. You may have to encourage this person to share their honest thoughts and let them you know you’re seeking their help as you wade through a myriad of decisions. Often letting them know they are your trusted and valued advisor will help them see themselves in this role. Just make sure when they do offer suggestions to graciously consider them.
Without a firm wedding budget, things can get dicey during the engagement. Check out some of the many free wedding budget templates online and get together with those footing the bill before making big decisions like booking a venue, choosing a caterer, or saying “yes” to the dress.
Cash flow problems don’t have to be a surprise for the spender personality if you’ve clearly laid out your budget in advance. Keep in mind, the budget doesn’t have to be set in stone. If the spender really wants to hire a videographer, and you can cut the decoration budget to cover the difference - go for it! And don’t forget the “contingency” category for those unexpected expenses or fees. Encourage the spender to get a part-time extra job for just a few months or sell unwanted household items to help boost the budget in case something comes up.
Kennan is a wife and stay-at-home mom to Jaxson and Caden. She has a BA in Mass Communication/Journalism from the University of Mary Hardin-Baylor and has many years of experience as a writer and photographer. She now uses her skills to run Marken Media Co.(www.markenmediaco.com), a company she owns with her husband Marcus.