You’ve just come off the high of your engagement, and now it’s time to get busy planning. One of the first decisions you’ll make is choosing your bridesmaids. Whether you pick your sister, your college roommate or a childhood friend, you should have certain expectations for the chosen ones.
Here are some reasonable things you can expect from your maids that will guarantee that you will still be friends after the wedding.
Be a sounding board
Expect: Planning a wedding is a stressful experience and requires the bride and groom to make a lot of decisions. You can expect that your bridesmaids will be there for late-night phone calls or coffee shop meet-ups to help you work through the planning process or just to let you vent.
Not Expect: Your bridesmaids, however, should not be used only as a therapist. Just because your life revolves around your wedding, doesn’t mean there’s does. Don’t forget to ask about what’s going on in their lives and be there for them as well.
Help with wedding tasks
Expect: Bridesmaids are not only there to look pretty, standing next to you on the day of the wedding. They are also there to be wedding assistants, so to speak. They can pick up an extra pair of pantyhose or help corral the flower girls and ring bearers at the ceremony. They can even host a shower or help plan the bachelorette party.
Not Expect: But even though the bridesmaids are there to make sure your big day is a success, you shouldn’t take advantage of their willingness to assist you. Bridesmaids don’t need to settle arguments between you and your future mother-in-law, take your elderly aunt to the bathroom, or anything else that you wouldn’t want to be asked to do.
Cover some wedding expenses
Expect: Think about each bridesmaid and how much you think would be a reasonable amount for them to spend on a dress, shoes and accessories. Consider choosing a less expensive dress option, allowing bridesmaids to wear shoes of their choice, or gifting their necklace and earrings as their thank you gift.
Not Expect: Bachelorette parties, girls’ weekends away and bridal showers are all fun, but sometimes traveling and buying gifts for these events can put a real strain on someone’s wallet. You shouldn’t require your bridesmaids to attend every function or buy a gift for each event. Allow them to pick the ones that mean the most to them.
Keep you calm on the big day
Expect: Chances are you will be a little stressed, nervous, excited on your wedding day, and you will need someone who can be ready to fan you off, bring your water, or anything else a southern belle would do in the 1800s. Well, not quite. But they should be there to help things run smoothly and help you keep your eye on the prize.
Not Expect: Your wedding day can not only be exciting, but also anxiety-producing, which can cause some people to be short with their loved ones. If you feel yourself getting frustrated or upset, take a deep breath and take a walk. Don’t take your pre-wedding jitters out on your bridesmaids.
**Photo by Casey Nystrom Photography
**Photo from Local Wedding: Kendal + Stuart
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